Comments on 21st Century Fairy Tale by Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Mr.Gabriel

physically not physicly

Other than that, the voice is unique and has much potential if you do considering making this a series.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
Mr.Gabriel

& it’s emotionally, not emtionly
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Yea I did that on purpose. It’s literly (literally haha) full of errors.

First to save on space
Second to reflect the character.

(ex. I would normally say Sara and I, but my character says me and Sara)
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Browncoatben

Nice gritty feel.

Really read like an urban diary might…
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Marli

I cannot connect with the classic but it could be “The Grinch who stole Christmas” OR “101 Dalmations” with Cruella . lol and thank you for choosing my challenge to enter " Ficly And Gabe what about your considering used in this context"?
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
ElshaHawk (LoA)

not such a happy ending to this tale i suppose, but the only story i can think of did not involve siblings…i am not well-read…
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Haha I’m not well read either. I based it after Hansel and Gretel. Their parents leave them in the jungle (of New York). I did go way beyond the original story. There’s certainly no gingerbread house nor trails of breadcrumbs, but I felt it made a good base for a modern version.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
kaellinn18

I love the voice that this is written in. That alone gets you five pencils, but the story is interesting too!
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
ElshaHawk (LoA)

ah, see, it was the new york that threw me…
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Mr.Gabriel

Well, I’m not perfect, Marli. D:

Everybody makes mistakes.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
Marli

@ Gabe. Not when you are critiquing anothers mistakes. Just a friendly nudge..don’t get your knickers in a knot.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Marli

@ Gradual uprising. I get it. I get it. I thought it was over my head but by sheer doggedness I worked it out.lol. (dances around room looking smug.)
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5
Marli

G.U. I am so terribly sorry. I have accidentally posted a banner for winning the "ONCE UPON A TIME " challenge to your site when it was given by Elsha to See More. I must have been thinking how good your story was and got carried away. Anyhow Kevin or Jason will work their magic and all will be as it was. Put it down to a seniors moment. ha ha
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 5 out of 5