I was lost on all the metamorphosis until of course, Megatron entered the fray!

The level of quality in the prose was high, and the opening and closing paragraphs are really nice… It got a little confusing for me roundabout the middle before we had the ‘Transformers’ context, but still, enjoyable… MH :)

Yeah…it’s surprisingly hard to write a Transformers bit while trying to conceal the identity of the hero. I wrestled with it for a long time and am still not totally satisfied.

I think the problem with this is the fact that you’re trying so hard to conceal their identities. It’s not so much confusing, at is, uh, forced I guess.

It’s possible that giving up on saving the reveal for the end could turn this into a better piece as you wouldn’t have to force yourself to hide who the characters are.

I agree…not sure why I’m trying to force that bit. I’ll probably jump back in and rewrite at some point.

oh, with huge transformers fans in my house, I have to cheer for this as fans cheer on a sports team. :) The action scenes are well done and the ending holds true to the characters. You didn’t try to make the bad guys win. i think it’s the word conversion, if you use metamorphosis earlier, i think it would work better.

I thought it worked great, most dramatic telling of Transformers’ adventures I’ve ever seen. I thought it might be transformers, but there were other contenders, like Robotech or just original mech-warrior sci-fi.

THX, could have also been Gobots.