ooh I say this so many times to various authors – write your numbers in words!! it’s soo important!!
This was very interesting although it was very fact filled and less story like.
Nice though. Well done.
Abby x

no, only numbers less than 10. and this is ficly, where characters count..

so..the guy is cold, nice.

Good detail of using metrics – a person in Michael’s position who probably travels extensively outside the US would probably use metrics instinctively.
Nice juxtaposition of “civilized” world vs. chaos (yahoo vs. mortar impacts)
I looked up trip advisor and one of the reviews does mention the security at a hotel in Iraq – good job!
As a comment on a comment, written-out numbers drive me nuts as a reader. Just a personal quirk, but I’d rather read 150 and move along rather than waste time reading one hundred fifty.

Got to agree about the description of the hotel. Brilliant!

Great character voice—his disdain comes through nicely. I loved the line about the look of someone hustling for a buck. I would have linked the sentence about the suicide bombers to the one before rather than use a fragment, but that’s me.