I really enjoyed this scene. It seemed very real. The dialogue here is very natural and doesn’t seem forced. “Pull” should be “pulled” in the second sentence, though.

You’ve taken this in a good direction, I hope this old lady becomes a recurring character!

Dialogue and characterisation are sound – although I’d choose between writing numbers as words or figures and stay consistent throughout…

Nonetheless, you’ve got a good start to a series here, I look forward to more! MH :)

Kaellinn- Thanks for noticing “pull”. I didn’t even see that! It is fixed!

MH- Thanks man! I intend for her to be a recurring character as sort of a confidant and advice-giver for Vince. I fixed the number problem. Thanks for noticing, because I didn’t!

nosy woman! how awkward! I’m sure she means well…

She means well, but you know the elderly can be. Sometimes they lack social awareness and tactfuleness.

Very nice so far there Chuck. I feel like we should all be discussing this in tweed sport coats with elbow pads sipping on brandy.

Brandy, my good man? That sounds delightful! If you provide the brandy, I’ll provide the pipeweed.

Whoops, that’s awkward…asking the baby question…

I love old people, they aren’t afraid to ask anything. I’m enjoying this series so far. Reading on.

Thanks, I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

I always enjoy a good dialogue. Nice way of not making it seem forced, like K had stated.

Apparently in literature you write numbers one through ten, and after that you can use 11, 12, 13, etc. So, you might want to change that, but it’s up to you.