It’s a good story. but in the challenge I’m looking for a slang piece. A character with uneducated diction that reflects the time-period. All of your dialogue was crisply stated in dictionary words that I use day to day. I looking for the ‘Now Generation’

It’s still a great story, but not in the competition.

I still liked the story. We can all relate…

Hmm, yes, other than names and situation this is pretty standard 21st Century disaster fare…

I like it, and the jibe at frustrating call queue messages at the end is really great – like I say, the situation is suited to a future period, but the way it’s handled in all dialogue is dictionary-accurate almost to the point of loss of well-defined character…

Maybe a redraft could expand the launchpad you have for a good, original piece – MH :)

I guess I was destined to screw up sooner or later.

I was going for “opposite” but it looks like I missed.

:(

I don’t think you “missed”. Just a different perspective on the challenge. You demonstrated a barrier to communication in the 21st century. The dreaded on-hold message.