Abby (LoA)

hello:
you have a lot of semicolons that i think could be commas. You could also do with breaking it up a little into small paragraphs. It reads a little unsteadily in some places, try using connectives instead of full stops and varying sentence structure.
Well done on this though. Good use of italics. Nice write
Abby x

• Posted almost 10 years ago.