Awesome work here. You provide a good depth to the characters. And it’s a bit of a role reversal to have the agent actually be the one with a conscience, which really helps turn this into a dark comedy.

Dark indeed – Jerald really is a bit twisted isn’t he – a more original take on the lengths to which people will go for fame and fortune…!

I’m not sure if you mean ‘bean counter’ in the fifth paragraph, but other than that everything seems to be in order technically.

Good work here THX, you’re always a pleasure to read! MH :)

Aces, Doc. You have the enviable ability to create a scene of grand scope in such a tiny space. This slice is excellently written, and halfway in I’m starting to imagine the backstory. What is this ritual? What kind of world is this? Awesome stuff.

Wow, Jerald is crazy, but wouldn’t the other man be crazier for letting it happen?

Either way this was good and had be going till the end, though I was expecting him to object or something.

it’s a set up! I smell something fishy! :)

Makes one wonder if Jerald plans to win, plans to lose, or if he is only thinking of the fight …

Very nicely done.

What an interesting start to a story. I hope someone picks this up; I want to see what happens next.

Starting with “they’ll put that on my tombstone” gives a strong himt to Jerald’s mortality, which I think balances the dominant expectation of an easy victory and creates some genuine tension in this story. Well done.

Really good story, I hope we see a sequel soon