The ending was a bit anti-climatic, but then again maybe you didn’t want to keep this going.

Every object has a history…

Hmm. This seems to fizzle out a little – I was expecting to get some details about how bad his day was, but we never actually find out…

I didn’t find the resolution to the bookmark philosophy particularly riveting either – it started well with him using the ticket as a bookmark, but the epilogue wasn’t quite as strong as the quite interesting opening bit in the theatre…

Parts were interesting, but it went in circles a little – the idea of the importance of bookmarks still intrigues me muchly, maybe an edit could enhance the effect of the execution? MH :)

Well I thought it was a cute ending. A sort of tiny piece of someone else’s life. I like that we don’t see many details of his bad day. It’s as if he’s telling us about it now and doesn’t remember much, just the feeling. Good job.

btw…i read this while watching tv and the ending came about just as inspirational music was being played, so that might have swayed my opinions

Overall, I enjoyed the story; and I’m a fan of cheesy, feel good stories. However, like MH, I kind of thought the ending was a little weaker than it could have been. We never really got a clear understanding of how bad the day actually was, nor did I buy that Clerks 2 could completely transform Arthur’s Worst Day Ever, Seriously, This Sucks, into a cherished memory.

The writing is well done, but I think the storytelling could use a bit more polish.

Thanks for the great reviews guys. There is some really good constructive criticism in there for me to digest. I do agree that the story needs to be a bit tweaked in terms of my end goal. After reading your comments and then re-reading my story, I see the issues. But all food for thought for the next one.

Thanks again guys :D