Can you say… stalker?

Welcome back. Your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back. To that same old place that you laughed about.

Well the names have all changed since you hung around. But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around.

I’m a big fan of these sorts of stories, as this one presents a convincingly creepy protagonist. Though, it feels like you start too many sentences with “she.” That second paragraph is almost entirely sentences started with the word “she.” Do a little tweaking there and this will be an awesome piece.

Baby, if you ever wondered,
Wondered, whatever became of me,
I spent some time away and turned into a giant stalker of hottie Starbucks baristas and I’ve LOST IT!

(With respect to Mr. Perkins, the first and only to ever call me out on my unsubtle love of all things Cincinnati.)

Well, who doesn’t love Johnny Fever? No, wait. Dr., Dr. Johnny Fever.

I don’t really get the title, but the story itself is a good piece – JP’s pointed out the ‘she’ repetition, but other than that it’s good technically.

And creatively, your central character reads like wonderful potential psycho material…!

Good work, and welcome… Back? MH :)

Welcome back Yoda! That barrista sure is a tolerant cookie. She must understand the vital nature coffee plays in the role of waking and balancing humans with caffeine addictions. Or she’s to confident that the counter will protect her from the stalker-man.

Great start. The line about the only thing to quench your thirst was especially good and creepy.

mmm. Are we going vampirish here.
Incredibly personal to be able to venture into anothers space when you have just been scared by them. (hand on arm thingy)
or does she know him. Author=sequel. And put me out of my misery

Sweet! I love stories that start with mini skirts..

Welocome Back! :)
And yes the MC here is just a bit of a creeper, also I like the ‘thirst’ bit. :P