Wow! I don’t know the song, and in a way I’m glad I don’t because it means I can judge this for what it is as a story…

And it’s great.

Nice structure to it, and I really didn’t see the end coming – the only sentence I wasn’t too keen on was ‘another memory flung into my mind.’

Can a memory be flung? I’m not sure it just didn’t gel for me…

But still, a really good read, nice structure and pace to it – fab ending – MH :)

Good story! But aren’t boysenberries purple?

yeah I’m with MH, as a story this was volatile, hard hitting, and fierce. The ending was a surprise, and the memories certainly FLUNG me around reading them, though they themselves might enter, or cross into, or project, or flit, or tumble, or crash..

YES!

Ending was great and unexpected. Totally what the song was about.

I’m not familiar with the song, but as the others above said, this was a fantastic story all on its own. Well written and nicely structured!

brilliant story, love the ending

All I know about Taylor Swift right now is that a lot of people like her and girl has so many Grammys now that she’s tossing to the ground like plates at a Greek wedding. Now, on to your piece – well, damn! Treacle and revenge are two things that don’t work well on their own and can be tricky to merge, but this nails it. Hits all the right notes, unfortunate pun not intended.

I love this story, but like MH I was unsure on how a memory could be flung. Maybe it should fly, ie, another memory flew into my mind…

Ouch! This is great— I like how it progresses. I also like how you took the theme of the song to the extreme. Nice work!

“Cluttered” and “clustered” sound redundant in the same sentence.

Boysenberry is purple or black in color, so maybe you meant blueberry.

As for the “flying memory” you could refer to it as “a memory pushed to the front of my mind.”

“At this point, I collapsed,” is wrong. “This” is in the present and “collapsed” is in the past. You mean, “At that point, I collapsed.”

Other than those mistakes, this is really nice.

Well done. I like how you captured the pace of the song then did the twist at the end.

I liked this too. Nice twist at the end. A couple of comments, I though the line “clustered with useless accumulated junk” was awkward. It broke the flow for me and made me too critical for the rest of the piece. Also, blueberries are purple. There are no actual blue foods.

Tsk Tsk he should know better than to break a girl’s heart. I definitely wasn’t expecting this ending!
This was wonderful!

This is a really good story. I, too, don’t know the Taylor Swift or the song, but I liked this. The repeated ‘I knew you were’ are I think my favourite lines, especially when they’re inverted at the end. A kind of blink and you miss it ending, very understated.
Also sloes are a blue fruit but I wouldn’t recommend using them in your description.