Picking myself up off the floor, I decide it’s time to leave town. With the corpse of my wife still warm in the bedroom, I think to the mice I hear in the walls, and what they would do to me if they got through. Zombie cats were hard enough to deal with.

I grab my emergency survival kit from the hall and head for my car. Just 30 feet to the garage, but that damn squirrel just won’t die. Armed with my hockey stick I bolt out the door, but there he is just in front of the door. This time, he brought friends.

The first jumps toward my face as I smash the handle of my Gretsky into him, and just as quickly the other two are at my feet. I kick one back and bring my knee down on the other, flattening his skull under my mass.

King squirrel and me left, a face off to the death.

He makes his move as I make mine. I see him flying over the neighbors’ house as a result of my swing and it’s just enough time to get into my car.

The seat is warm and I can’t wait to get out of here. Wait, the backseat, it’s growling….