I liked this quite a bit. Good description of the red-haired girl. I like him even thought he is cold-blooded.

One note: On the second line you have written she when I think you mean see.

Perfect anti-hero. I’d love a prequel.

I’m glad you guys like it. And thanks Paige, it was supposed to be see not she :).

Action packed, but, particularly in the third paragraph, I felt a little rushed for it…

Still, it follows on reasonably well, and as commented above, your central character is really very interesting – if you could pop some fairytale psychoanalysis in there I’d be well and truly impressed!

A nice continuation, even if I felt it lost some detail in the amount of content it packed in – this is the great Ficly dilemma! MH :)