Very cool. I like that it’s a shift in tone from the original, heading into noir-ish territory. The details are great here – there’s a lot packed in. Nice!

if someone actually said this at a funeral, he’d probably be kicked out.. my only critique, it went off topic at the end a little, not ending with the deceased. It was too open and unfinished. However, the tone was shockingly sincere.

Very strong dramatic monologue here, I can just see this in a play…

Really good characterisation, and great to see you returning to the fold with a true Ficly sequel – that is to say something which adds to the inspiration rather than just continuing it – MH :)