The first section was more engaging than the second for me – really beautiful how you showed the origins of a theatre performer – where it all starts!

I see that you were showing the progression with that last bit, and that was good, but I think the ending could have been neater…

Still, really enjoyable – thanks for entering! MH :)

I agree with MH, the first part grabbed my attention but then in kind of sputtered. I would have liked more about the “Honk to see us dance club”.

Overall fun to read

Okay, I changed the ending, but I don’t know if it’s better…

This is based on an actual childhood experience of mine =]

I think I like this ending better. Well done.

Much, much better ending – way to work in the challenge title!

Good work, it’s always satisfying when a critique leads to an edit which results in a substantially better piece of work – MH :)

I used to do this all the time when I was a kid with the neighbors. I miss those days :). I don’t know how the ending was before you edited it but I really like this one.

For real? Other people did this?
And here we thought we were so original…=]