This is very clever indeed – the double use of green with ‘envy’ and ‘inexperience’…

Nice first person narrative which gives us a nice emotional anchor to the events of the piece, and Warren’s only line of dialogue says all it needs to perfectly.

To avoid the cheese, I think I’d actually edit out that very last line, because ending with Warren’s sentiment caps it all off well enough for me – just a thought.

Nice entry – MH :)

Thanks :) How can I not take your advice?

I liked this story. You managed to make me care about the protagonist’s relationship. My only additional critique to Ed’s is that you start two sentences in a row with “Only” near the end. I would remove the second one. Nice job, otherwise!

For a Yank’s education: shattered = drunk?

Indeed shattered = drunk
And the two only’s were intentional

Wait, shattered = tired beyond waking up again

Good job capturing what so many have experienced. It’s hard not to be envious of those who are in the first bloom of love but the comfort of something that lasts is so much better. Nice story right before Valentine’s Day.