It’s official: I’m in love!

Oh. Sorry, dear. We’re in love.

Sure, we had a short courtship — you fell for me at first sight, you silly fool — but I can’t say that I blame you.

I tried to be sultry yet demure; dark and mysterious yet familiar. Despite my shortcomings, I simply oozed sexy and you succumbed to my charms. I have this unexplainable attractiveness that runs in my family, don’t you know?

When you introduced me to your friends, I knew we had something because you defended my honour. When I heard them calling me your latest toy, I didn’t care. I had you now. Your past infatuations were only a crush compared to what we have now.

Every time you sit down with me, I know we’ll be spending hours together, alone.

Every time you run your fingers along me, electricity will course across my skin.

And when we fall asleep together, spent, I’ll be right there for you in the morning.

I know we’ll always be together.

Forever.

But you’d better stay away from that ASUS Eee Pad. She’s a slut!