Who’s the man in black? Nice story, good description, and you put some commas in! Nice name, too. Can I prequel or sequel?

Feel free pardner. Not many westerns round these parts of Ficly that I can see. The man in black is Bryce. Bryce Cage, the most dangerous man this side of the Pecos. Ever willin’ and able to help out some poor farmer with cattle ruslers. Whoo wee!

Oh ok. I thought the man in black was the dude on the horse.

Nice start to the story. Their is a certain Raymond Chandler quality to this.

One comment on the grammar: You wrote “digging bloody gashes from his spurs into the heaving flanks”

This implies he is digging bloody gashes from his spurs vs. the spurs creating the bloody gashes. I would suggest: The spurs digging bloody gashes into the heaving flanks. Just a thought. :)

Thanks for the comments, I have revised it and for the better I think. I wasn’t really happy with that part anyway, and fixing it allowed me to make a few others changes too. So hard with only 1024 characters!!

‘Spuring’ needs two r’s like spurring.