This is absolutely beautiful.

1999 was magical, wasn’t it? I’d never felt that the world was so much mine. This, like all you do, is beautifully written.

I hate to be the one to rain on this one, but I know you are capable of much better. As far as I can tell, there isn’t really any structure here. The line breaks seem arbitrary, breaking up any kind of flow this piece might have. The lack of punctuation and capitalization makes it hard to tell where one thought ends and another begins.

The content is okay, and you do have some interesting imagery. Some editing would definitely improve the readability of this piece.

Thanks, guys!

And kaellinn18, I appreciate the criticism. I wanted the line breaks to seem abrupt, discordant really, in keeping with the tone of the piece. And I deliberately left it void of punctuation so that it would feel as though the lines were running together. I guess I’d better chalk this off as a failed experiment, though! :)

I love the emotions in this, but I sort of agree with kaellinn18. I think it worked in some places, but not all. The emotions are what stood out, so it was still effective.

I thought this was absolutely stunning. I know everyone’s different, but I really liked this almost disjointed feel of it. Beautiful.

Total awesomeness. Totally got the feel of being on the verge of everything, which then sets up the heartbreak of the relationship bursting like the bubble into nothingness. Expertly crafted poem.

This is absolutely fantastic, Ana. Personally, I thought the offbeat structure was intriguing, and certainly appropriate for the poem. Great work, I got goosebumps.