I saw a man standing, holding a sign that read, “The End Is Near.” When I got home, I got on my computer and Googled, “End of the World,” because after all, who would know more about apocolypes than Google?

From Google, I clicked on the Wickipedia link provided and onto my screen popped the following explanation for the end of days:

“Various ancient and modern scholaric authors and astronomers have specifically named July 24th 2010 to be the day when the collaborative black matter in the universe, being proven to contain large amounts of sodium chloric iron metalide, will combine to form a great mass of ionic sodium chloride powder. By which methods of the equilateral material of the atmosphere, it will be dissolved through the outer layer and will form as clouds of sodium dioxide (SO2), which will successfully erode the Earth’s crust and react with the carbon minerals inside the outer core, causing extensive carbon monoxide release, poisoning any life form on the planet.”

Crap.

I think I need a beer.