I know what you’re thinking.

How could someone be so…so sour?

But I never meant to kill Gramma Nut. I only wanted to bring in more tourism, more money to the other side of the board. You guys always go to the Candy Castle, maybe spend a little time around the Molasses Swamp or maybe even the Ice Cream Sea, but the other side of the tracks. Nothing.

Many-a-time, you’d simply hop over the Rainbow Trail, and simply skip my Licorice Castle and my Gumdrop Mountains.

So what was I to do? I had to do something. So I tampered with the weather machine here. I made it sugar only in our neck of the woods. For the first part it was great. You and us made sugarmen, sugarangels, had sugarball fights. It started getting more attention.

But that’s when Gramma Nut passed away. How was I to know she was diabetic? I mean she lived in a god-forsaken, peanut-brittle house.

Please forgive me!

Put down Monopoly.

Come play CandyLand. For old-time’s sake,

or at least for poor Gramma Nut.
God rest her soul.