“This was no dream. The dream was unclear, muddled and erratic. "
That’s a little unclear. I think I know what you meant though. Might be clearer as “This was no dream. Dreams were unclear, muddled and erratic. " ?
It’s a funny little piece, which seems to have a sinister build up, which is all a feint, as it ends with a harmless punchline. It made me smile anyway.
If I was to change anything, maybe I’d specify “twin brother” instead of just “brother”… or maybe that’d be too cliche.
Raymond Finn