You have a unique way of phrasing that I am not sure I understand. For me, it was distracting and made the story awkward to follow. For example, her each step toward the throne was purposeful.

There are several typos as well.

*There was order in (the) air.
*the Queen should be in lower case but *Her Majesty should be in upper case.
*counselor is typically spelled with one l
*persons mind should be person’s mind
*In the third paragraph there should be quotes around the statement beginning with “I want a special sword…..?”
*The last sentence should also be in quotes.

I’m not going to repeat PA’s comments but you should take a look at this story and perhaps do a bit of editing.