I know it’s crap. Everything I write lately has been, I just needed to get this out.
Please, be nice?

I quite like it, but I dont really get it. I don’t know who the guy at the end is. This is either a very creepy person, or a very irritating brother. I relate to both.

Oh, I have a sickening idea who the guy is, and it does make for a very disturbing story once you get that. My only critique would be teh conundrum between blasting music in her ears with the iPod and then being able to hear the faint footsteps of her sister out in the hall. Maybe have her consider using the iPod but knows she’ll get in trouble if she doesn’t hear.

It’s not crap. In fact it invoked real emotion in me.
Reflects the truth of the situation

I really like the weight of this piece. There’s a heaviness, a sense of dread that you’ve managed to invoke here. I do agree with THX 0477’s suggestion, for the conflict between being able to hear despite the loud music… well, it pulls me out for a moment.

Otherwise, great work.