Hang those plastic bangles from the rave in San Fran on that hook, there,
And fold the plaid shorts from that trip to London where you got so drunk and woke up in Paddington Station, put them here,
Let’s hang the trenchcoat over here, the gray one you traded your yellow parka for with that model in New York, that was a great party,
Oh, replace that with those shoes you found on the telephone wire when you went to visit your parents,
But give me that shirt, oh remember the nice logger who gave it to you because of the rain that time you went hitchhiking across the country,
Oh, this one’s gotta be my favorite, nobody expected you to turn up at the ball in those neon leggings,
And put these pants on top, the ones that girl we met on the train to Dublin drew all over when you fell asleep in the luggage car,
And look, the one dollar dress from Chinatown!
And they say your closet is weird. Gosh.