The title is a reference to the irish song “johnny I hardly knew ye”.

I like the premise of this story. I do think that it doesn’t flow very well. Some sentences are difficult to follow.

I have to agree with Third Robot. This just does not flow as well as some of your other stories. There are also quite a few typos.
there vs. their
buy vs. by
star vs start.

yeah this was originally a poem and the reworking is not quite what I want, but I at least wanted to put it out there and get at least on of the 25 drafts I have out. It will get edited and probably re-posted when I have time away from my seminar.