the second paragraph switches to present tense, which is my worst fault as a writer too! The story is great at the end, the beginning has some awesome descriptions. At first the comforter thing bugged me, the way the sky doesn’t sit there, but then I thought about how the light would look if you were under a big gray comforter in a bright room and I understood what those clouds looked like. And going from comfort metaphor to drizzle was awkward for me the first time through, but okay the second. hmm, maybe i’m tired. Not knowing the song, I’d have loved to have those important lyrics printed as well. :) Just some editing thoughts if you expand this on your own.

Thanks for the comments on this one, Elsha. This all actually happened: I wrote this in my head as I was taking a walk, so this is very much a freewrite in the sense that I didn’t go back and try to polish it up at all. It was just a mish-mash, a jumble of thoughts and images running through my brain that I wanted to make sure could get out somehow.

I may go back to these ideas and create something longer, but… I guess you could say that this is truly an open letter to someone, and even though it’s in a public forum, if that person finds this, they will know exactly what every syllable means.