Great descriptions and use of the challenge phrase. I like how it shows Billy’s progression in so few words.

Very nice! I was not expecting vampires or werewolves. My only critique would be that near the end you use ‘when’ twice, really close together, which throws off the flow, and the name of the second kid just seems a bit tacked on. It might be better if he were left nameless.

ah, yes, that 2nd when was meant to be a ‘but then’. Either way, goodbye, Bob, who will be left nameless. thanks for the tips.

Nice twist. I especially like the line unreasonably mundane.

You may want to take a look at some of the phrasing. It could be more powerful.

Ah, fun! I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Only thing would be Bob doesn’t really need a name, but that has been mentioned.

Congratulations! You got Third place.
This story about a new vampire and then later his progeny is slightly less original, if only because it’s vampires and werewolves, but the integration of the phrase, and the use of scene is good.

Nice. I love people who do 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, because I’m yet to win a challenge. Doing this allows me to see that I’m still a pretty awesome writer, so thankyou.