My eyes widened and whatever I was about to say died on my gaping lips.

She chuckled. “Oh don’t look at me like that boy, you think your old grandma doesn’t have a healthy interest in men? I’m not dead after all! Why else would I have taken this cruise?” She turned her head and eyed a pair of old men in Speedos by the side of the pool, lying there like a couple of brown leather jackets. Her eyes twinkled behind her half-moons with the clip-on sunglass attachments.

One of the men waved. “Hey Lizzie-bee!”
She tittered and wiggled her fingers at him, then turned back to me.

“I do appreciate you coming along though. The guys on these cruises are only out for one thing. Your old grandma still has a way with the boys, but there’s not enough of me for everyone! Why do you think I got your mother to send you along? I might need a young bodyguard.” She winked at me. “We’re going to have a great fortnight!”

Her face crinkled in concern. “You alright boy? Seasick?”

I ran for the guard rail.