please forgive me if the pace feels awkward…1024 characters is hard! lol

No need to apologise, this was great. I had forgotten about this little series and it’s nice to revisit it.
I love the relationship between Bell and Straw. It’s messed up as all hell ;)

Very fun and exciting stuff. I like how exposition stuff gets covered with dialog here. You have some sentence structure stuff in the first paragraph (at least one ‘comma splice’), and in the middle a ‘your’ that should be a ’you’re’. Nit-picky stuff, but that’s me and my pet peeves.

Yeah sorry my grammar is always a bit awkward, especially with comma placement. Perhaps I’ll have a go at editing this in a bit. Thanks for the reply! Its such a great character thelostgirl created :)

grammar has always been secondary to me. It makes writing more real when its all messed up. I love this. Great story.