I’ve always liked apples. I think it’s genetic. Something red, a good size. The crispy sheen of thin skin.

My eyes are berry-black. Which people do admire. Though there is a yellow edge, tarnishing my simple colour scheme.

The wire-heavy muscle that shines as I move – I am very proud. Not an ounce of fat on me. Like a fighter, or a diver, I am all intent, all purpose. No leisure or laziness in the way I work. Though I like to think I make it all look easy.

People are always surprised by how I move so quickly. I look louche and aloof but don’t misjudge me. It is a constant joy to me to make detractors jump!

Simplicity is my motto. No more movement than is necessary. No noise.

If you annoy me, my retorts are sharp.