Your use of the senses here is absolutely fantastic, it drew me in within a sentence and didn’t let me go – the description of her father was particularly brilliant – so visual…

I think this piece would be better ending with ‘grass in my hair and smoke on my clothes’ – I just think it’s a nicer image to leave the reader with – more captivating than what is essentially a summary in the last paragraph that you currently have…

But wanting you to remove something is better than wanting something more so well done! MH :)

Yes I agree with MH, excellent play on the senses.

I think your ending is okily-dokily as it is though.

This takes me back to my childhood. 100+ degrees outside and we still ran around like wild things. Wonderful story

a sweet memory, though the smoke makes me gag. :)

Beautiful. And, with this miserable March weather outside, it makes me ache for summer.