I know, I know, it’s not really on topic, but that’s what the challenge title made me think of and so I wrote it.

Oh I like this – it doesn’t matter that it’s not a real snake, it’s original stuff!

As always, my pet peeve is your paragraphing, which just does nothing for me – I wish you’d break it up a bit – but the content is strong regardless, nice characterisation and witty dialogue – ‘ladders and greasy ladders’ being my personal favourite!

Good work – sort out your structure and the last pencil is yours – MH :)

Aaah, the confusion of paragraphing. This goes back to my childhood (no, really it does!). Back in primary school, I was taught by a series of not-quite-retired-yet teachers who had none of this new fangled “leave a blank line between paragraphs” nonsense. You indented paragraphs and started again on the very next line. It was only after I started using a computer that I stopped indenting, as I couldn’t figure out how to do it. I’ve never really managed to pick up the blank line habit. In emails maybe, in prose never.
As a result, excessive blank lines do my head in, especially in dialogue-heavy pieces like this where I’d be using them every other line. So I fear that fifth pencil will never be mine. Screw you, changes in layout fashions!