That’s just about right. I love flying, too, and there’s nothing quite like getting up above the clouds where the air’s clear.

I know what you mean – the premise of this story is a strong one indeed, and the imagery towards the end is handled very well…

You have a couple of repetitions which grated with me a little earlier on – could you use a synonym for drunk on your second use? And you say ‘defy nature’ twice as well – could you devise another phrase with the same meaning for variation?

Other than that it was a good piece of work – a nice perspective – MH :)

Hungover flying can never be made fun… not even beautiful picturesque scenery.

Jim: It’s nice to find a fellow above-the-clouds lover
MH: I amended your points. When you said the premise is strong, I couldn’t help but think of “The force is strong in you.”
TTR: You’ll get used to it!

Good changes, always nice to see people developing work as a result of critiques – I was thinking of ‘hammered’ when I suggested the change – here’s hoping our American friends are familiar with the term! MH :)

I was thinking of saying ‘lampshaded’. Have you seen Michael McIntyre?

‘I was UTTERLY bungalowed!’

Of course I’ve seen Michael McIntyre!

We are familiar with the term ‘hammered’.

Oh, yay! He is so awesome! I love his floppy hair! I like his spice joke. My mum actually went (through tears of laughter_ “It’s funny ‘cause it’s true!”

Beautiful last line! I think you might want to make it suspected in paragraph 1 to stick with the past tense verbs, and I’m alway leery of using “you” like you did in paragraph 3. Overall though, lovely imagery.