This post better be really really important – although that punchline was an excellent foil for the high action of the rest of the piece – clever use of contrasts…
You drew me in quickly and didn’t let go – a real rollercoaster of a story! Possibly towards the end your descriptions get a bit heavy abs excessive, but generally the imagery is well written…
It seems to contrast a bit with the previous piece. Chickens was written as an actually serious take on an absurd idea. This one seems to drop that a bit, especially with the names of the postal service. The description is a bit heavy, and I would have preferred if it kept the serious tone of the previous story. It’s not bad, per-se, but it lacks something that the other had.
Mostly Harmless
ElshaHawk (LoA)
cthulhuburger
Concerned Reader