Wow that’s a long sentence.

The thing is, for me, after the second comma it’s not so much horrific as explanatory of the consequences of the horror… Does that make sense?

What I’m trying to say is, up to the second comma we have just enough to paint a picture, and just too little to be scared of what we see. I thinkafter that you lose some momentum by telling us how peaceful your character is – but I did enjoy it – a different kind of entry for sure. MH :)

I kind of agree with MH, because for a horror piece, this ended nicely, not the adrenaline pumping, grip your theater seat arms and grip the hand next to you tightly kind of thrill ride. BUT it was unique that way.

I love the differentiation in size, really setting you aside from the competition, but it’s like being put aside from the class by repeating a year. Because you lost the short and snappyness of the other entries.

Jam packed content. Densely rich.