Comments on Black Cadillac by Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Mostly Harmless

Ah so this is going to be a multi-parter!

Good first installment, with enough characters and items thrown in to keep the reader guessing for the next chapter…

I’m not sure how he would have found out she was engaged so quickly after the surprise of the Cadillac, but I get the message – thanks for entering! MH:)
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Gradual Uprising {LoA}

My narrator is remembering the past, so I didn’t mean that at the very same birthday party he found out she was engaged…just that sometime inbetween the ‘now’ and that moment Sylvia got engaged :)
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Ћμβяїs

D: Everything goes wrong in a Cadillac, it is the LAW of nature.

Don’t trust American cars kids.

Can’t wait for the next part!
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 3 out of 5
ElshaHawk (LoA)

then leave it out…
Sylvia is nice. Too bad it seems he doesn’t get the girl.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
THX 0477

Ah, the engagement statement makes a bit more sense now. Seems like there should be a way to reword that so it’s more clear. Not a huge fan of the whole ‘start from the beginning thing, especially when it’s such a bizarre one with the lighter and knife-wielding gang. Everything else felt fairly real and was engaging.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Yea…this challenge was mad-hard, i spent hours rephrasing each story as drafts until i finally posted them :) …and each one is written to the nirvana-limit.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.

Comments on Black Cadillac by Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Mostly Harmless

Gradual Uprising {LoA}

Ћμβяїs

ElshaHawk (LoA)

THX 0477

Gradual Uprising {LoA}