I really like the steady drip feed of information here – the way that you give us two characters in an unknown situation and gradually fill in the detail – it’s artful…

I think you could do with some better paragraphing in that top chunk of text, but it might be like that because of character limits – however at the least I’d separate the quote from the rest of the piece…

Still, with regards to content this was awkward and saddening for all the right reasons – sheer emotion… MH :)

I dunno, MH, I thought it was just about perfect as it is.

If only all girls in that situation could have the love of such a father.

Beautiful.

Oh my god—just sad.

I love your story and thanks for entering!

When I read it, it just screams Scout—so trusting towards her father and all.

Well done. :D