gritty, but almost too fantastical.. I want to go back and read the beginning of the tale, get a feel for the magic, the fight, the motive. It was a lot to digest. The chunks were small enough, but it was a huge stew pot of new information. :) best part, no talking heads! (the characters had action with their dialogue)

This story is as much as a starting point for me as anything. I have a whole world I’m in the process of creating, in which gods and religions play pivotal roles. It’s difficult to condense all of that down into a 1024-character story. :)

You do manage to make it feel as if there is a whole world behind this small scene, I’m burning with curiousity about their ‘Prayers’ now. I’m confused as to why the thief called the Elder, ‘Elder’ unless it’s a title recognised all over, but it seemed a term of high authority or something within his own religion which is why I was surprised the thief didn’t curse him as he did his god. This could just be my mind though.The action is easy to follow, with an engaging turn of events, the reveal at the end was shocking even though I have only a vague idea as to what it means. I do love a good fantasy and this was wonderful.

The Thief deserved it.

Well played. Fitting a universe into 1024 character snippets is quite a daunting task. I’ve thought about it and ceded that my intellectual inferiority is not up for the undertaking so I wish you the best of luck.

I do think that you jammed a lot into this story though and seeing as though we aren’t familiar, it’s quite a bit to swallow.

I am certainly curious though.

Yeah, I realize it’s a bit of info dump. The original story that I put together in my head before scribing it here was definitely longer with quite a bit more detail. Eventually, I’ll flesh it out more (not here, obviously) and fill in what’s missing.

Bizarre and twisted. I felt like it was right on the line between too fantastical and not. I felt like i had a sense of what was going on and what was at stake without any more detail given. Dramatic and fun stuff hinting at a larger conflict and system.

I have to admit that this world is inspired, in part, by John Scalzi’s The God Engines. I wanted to create a world in which gods and religion play a critical role with physical iconography. It’s a religious dystopia!

I’m glad that, despite the density of the story, people are getting a sense of what’s happening and how pivotal the event in this story is to this greater world at large.