Dick! This guy’s pretty intense. You really capture Mr. Black’s brutality, not just with his actions, but with your description of him and the characters fear of him.

I think that the last line could have been a tad more effective. From what I get from the vibe of the story, he doesn’t actually want to cause her too much harm. Perhaps he could have left, leaving her terribly shaking and gasping for air or something…

That’s just me though.

I see what you’re saying. I’m gonna get rid of the last line…it doesn’t blend particularly well. Thanks for bringing it to my attention

Horrible, tragic situation. Really makes this Mr. Black pretty disgusting. You had some long, run-on and near-run-on sentences in the middle that made for a more difficult read.