Skies will turn red and things will boil.

Meanwhile, the ghost of Stephen Hawking will have led a merry band of scientists, doctors, Warren Buffett, mechanics, philosophers and others of absolute and relative smartness in a conga line of survival deep into space, directly over the event horizon of a black hole and into Alt-Universe A. There these uber-humans will create a master race of even smarter people that, given enough time, will probably still find ways to screw things up.

Alt-Universe A is a mysterious place where goatees rule, teachers are well paid and Oldsmobiles are cool. The rest of humanity will be left behind in this universe, the echoes of Hawking’s Speak & Spell cackling at them from beyond the infinite for being the paradox-believing simpletons they are, dodging airplanes that are falling from the sky and pounding their fists in the sand unable to believe that it was Earth all along, and wondering if this is the rapture that Blondie, Tim LaHaye and John the Baptist were talking about.