Yeah, that was a deliberate choice of verbiage there. I was going for a rhythm there from the first part of the sentence. And hey, clichés have their place, so long as they’re not overly abused.

You assume correctly, though it could just as easily work the other way around. I suspect, however, that it reads most naturally with a male voice.

Count on it. :)

Excellently done. You demonstrate the characters pain perfectly. Even I am saddened for it reminds me of some of my past (robo-tear).

This one was actually a lot harder for me to write than I anticipated. That third paragraph was especially difficult, undergoing about 30 revisions before I finally happy enough with it to push it out. It’s just been long enough since I’ve experienced personal heartbreak of my own that it made it more difficult for me to fully get into the character’s head.

And then I had to go and give him a very sharp knife. :-P

Oh, and watch out for those robo-tears, my friend. Remember what happened to the Tinman…

That went very quickly from kind of pathetic to downright scary. You caught me off guard so kudos for that.

Most excellent, since that’s the exact effect I was going for. :)

Oh man, this perfectly captures how I felt after my first “true love” breakup. Anger, sadness, REVENGE.

I think everyone’s been there at least once.