Skinny Jean Interest Only Gift Card Armageddon

It’s fairly certain that the idea of a “harmonious balance with nature” did not originally include interstates, condos, or Neiman Marcus.

What is not certain is who thought consuming a planet’s resources slowly was better than doing it quickly. Humans are as barbaric and moronic as at any point in history, amplified by instant connectivity. For every ill-mannered pundit with an ill-formulated opinion, there will be an equally opposite yet equally ill-formulated opinion from an equally ill-mannered pundit that follows it.

Given this dichotomy, it can then be postulated that two equal groups of people will cling to these disparate truths with equal fervor. These groups, being equally dumbassed and therefore driven towards the more explosive, will each develop at equal rates. Since it can be reasonably assumed that this development promotes the non-survival of both humankind and the planet it crawls on, let it be no surprise that life as we know it is about to return to the gooey pond scum from whence it came.

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