So you think, “what the hell,” & take your new sexy shark buddy to the hottest bar in town: The Lava Licker.

Still being nude, the shark garners plenty of cat-calls:

“Show us your claspers!”

“Hey baby, you wanna…” She pauses, opens a book at a marked page & reads haltingly, “insert your clasper into my oviduct?”

“Okay, hold still!” and he bites her. Apparently, she hadn’t read on in the book, & didn’t realize that this was part of the shark mating ritual. She freaks right-the-fuck out.

“GAH! Help! This shark is trying to eat me!” You realize this was a mistake; you must intervene.

“Okay bud, that’s enough. Now you’re going away for indecent exposure, public intoxication, and rape.”

You wonder where you’ll take the shark (since you don’t own a jail… or do you?) & how long you can keep up this cop charade.

You can:

Take the shark to your S&M dungeon.
Harpoon the shark while it’s defenses are down, bury the fins, & eat them in 6 months.
Forget the stupid shark. You wanna pick up your own female.