The average dummy when dropping soap in prison will bend over at the waist, therefore allowing any other prison inmate to pop themselves into your fine/dumb self, culminating in every prison inmate’s worst nightmare.

So, instead of bending over at the waist and leaving yourself open to incoming attacks from volatile penises, slowly crouch until you can safely reach the soap – make sure to be slow because you don’t want to fall over and land yourself in another vulnerable position.

Note: Make sure to keep your mouth closed on the ascent.