You tend to write a lot of short choppy sentences. More complex sentences would give your writing better flow.
For example: Instead of His clothing was torn and dirty. He had no shoes, and his hair was messy and dark brown with dirt. His face was also darkened with dirt How about something like _ Shoeless and unkempt, his clothing was torn and dirty, his face and hair brown with dirt._
There are also several basic grammar errors. It can be difficult to edit your own work but many of these would be caught by cutting and pasting your story into an MSWord doc or something similar and using the check spelling/grammar feature. Not a foolproof method but it helps.
I don’t mean to sound harsh but I have noticed these same mistakes in your other stories and it’s a shame to have your voice muffled by poor grammar.

I always have the urge to give a bunch of money to a homeless person, but the I always suppress the idea and keep walking :(

I think the choppy sentences work for this story…kinda the way my mind works when i’m out walking in the cold. I definitely don’t think like “Shoeless and unkept, his clothing was torn and dirty, his face and hair brown with dirt” I’d probably think in short, choppy sentences so I don’t see anything wrong with writing that way. :D

A ray of hope in the dark world! sweet ending to this tale.