Man the death challenge is killing me (no pun intended). This story is packed full of feeling, the tears and sadness are leaking through my monitor. I like your story and feel like it touched me profoundly. The last sentence is tragically perfect.

=( the last line made me very sad. well put together, like a train of thought.

=( the last line made me very sad. well put together, like a train of thought.

wow, tragically perfect, I agree, and here we see an example of short sentences working perfectly as thoughts. :)

I agree with Elsha regarding your sentence structure. Well done there.

Best Character