but she had good reason, right? This is sad, she is beating herself up over the opinions of others and you have shown us no reason for her to have meant ill of the deceased, (cheated) leaving her innocent and full of remorse. Needless abuse.

Okay, I have five things to say:

1) I love the story going on here; like Elsha said, needless abuse. And not at all what I thought from the title!

2) I’m going to go ahead and assume that “slag” is like British for “slut” or “ho.” If not, I got this story all wrong…

3) Go onto YouTube, and look up the play Almost, Maine and go to the scene called Her Heart – this sort of reminds me of it. It would take to long to explain, but you should watch it. Was anyone else at International Thespian Festival last summer? That was my school =]

4) The writing in this is amazing, but one thing I would look at is using stronger verbs instead of just was, were, have, had, etc over and over.

5) This is probably the longest comment I’ve ever written =]

Wow, that was a long comment! I shall address this point by point:
1) Thank you
2) Yes, that is true. I think. it’s generally just a demeaning term. PS we use the word ‘slut’ too!
3) I shall ASAP!
4)Erm… this point confused me. Examples, perhaps?
5) Yay! Long comments!

Lovely and painful. Twisted, yes, but it really fits how some people wind up feeling and how a lot of manipulative people manage to force others into staying with them through emotional blackmail. Painful, but I liked it.

Okay, back to point 4.
Was, were, have, had, etc. are referred to (at least at my school) as weasel words – they get used in the place of stronger verbs.
For example, instead of “She was running home,” “She ran home.”
Example from your piece:
Instead of, Sometimes she cried but that was rare nowadays.
Maybe Sometimes she cried, but rarely nowadays. etc. If you want more I can. =]