Two minor edits: turning know(s) into now(s). This could almost qualify for the last twenty dollars challenge. Also with the exception of the drinking and smoking, I operate pretty close to this, often to my chagrin. The first half seems really strong, the last sentence is pretty good but for some reason from the middle on loses me a little. I think “as we all know…” sentence is weak as is the “needless to say”. I hope that wasn’t too critical but I am going to rate this a three and I know you’d want to know why. I hope it helps more than it hurts.

Thanks Quick. Yeah, I’ve been kind of grabbing at straws lately. My brain isn’t being nice to me.

This isn’t at all a true story by the way.