Comments on The Stand off. by ALRO613 (LoA)

ElshaHawk (LoA)

Chancellor just got schooled! I have a feeling you have infinite scenarios for Captain Locke..
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Luke Nicolaou

Oooh, something I might be able to write a sequel for!

Good job!
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
The Third Robot

I enjoyed, I hate the arrogant know-it-all. I would have liked to see the Chancellors reaction to Locke’s correctness in his face.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
N. Robertson

Don’t know about the exclamation mark. Seems like I wouldn’t usually see it in that sort of sentence in sci-fi, usually just in dialogue.

Locke being female was a (not bad) twist for me. I just assumed a guy.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
ALRO613 (LoA)

Robot: ya.. ran outta characters! :) I so wanted to write his reaction too…

N.Robertson. I had an entire series based on the Amethyst and Captain Trianna Locke… and ended up making this universe part of NaNoWriMo 2008 novel.

As for the exclamation mark… my attempt at making that one sentence dramatic.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
Krulltar

This seemed a little “clunky” to me. “she pointed a finger …” seemed like an ancillary unneeded description. and the Chancellor’s described actions (nose wrinkled and sniffed) could have probably been combined… just my humble opinion, for what it’s worth.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
Krulltar

@N. Rob…the sci-fi has been on the cutting edge of the woman’s lib movement. Most of the great sci-fi authors use woman characters in positions of power and influence.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.
- 4 out of 5
ALRO613 (LoA)

good comments Krulltar! Something for me to work on.
- Posted almost 10 years ago.