“Ring ring. Ring ring.”

“What?”

“You know what.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“Ring ring. Ring ring.”

“…”

“Answer the bloody phone!”

“The phone isn’t the one ringing!”

“Come on, do it, put your spidey hand to your ear.”

“Fine, fine.”

“Ring ring. Ring ring.”

“My hand is there!”

“You haven’t answered. You haven’t pressed the call button.”

“Fine, hello?”

“The phone isn’t ringing anymore.”

“…”

“Ring ring. Ring ring.”

“Hello?”

“Knock knock.”

“Seriously?”

“Knock knock!”

“… Who’s there?”

“Get me.”

“Get me who?”

“Not who, what. Get me a goddamned ring, you lousy cheapskate!”

“Andy, this isn’t a real relationship. I’m only facebook engaged to you.”

“James, I don’t care if it’s a facebook relationship. I want a ring so you show me your love.”

“Engagement, and I don’t love you! I’m straight! Get out!”

“Dude, I was joking.”

“I’m not straight.”

“… Engagement’s off. Bye James.”

“Come back! Come back! I was joking… Don’t tell anyone?”

“Never speak of this again.”